When I shout, “Repent!” people repent. If I say, “In the name of Jesus, I command you, Satan, get out!” demons are driven out from those possessed by evil spirits. And when I anoint the sick with oil, their illnesses are healed. Every time I see their grateful faces, I am reminded again that I have finally become someone who is truly needed by others.
Back when I was in Capernaum, everyone was hostile toward me and avoided me. Receiving criticism was a daily routine, and sometimes I even faced threats to my life from people like the Zealots, so every day was exhausting.
The reason was simple: my profession as a tax collector. Of course, I can understand why people reacted that way. Herod Antipas collected excessive taxes under all sorts of pretexts, so the tax collectors who carried out his orders were seen as agents of Herod, and even as agents of Rome. How could people not despise them? But I also had my own grievances. Other tax collectors would sometimes extort extra money for their own benefit, but I simply sat at the customs booth and collected only what was required. Since my name was Levi—which means “joined”—I felt that, even if I could not live united with God’s work as the tribe of Levi did, at the very least I should avoid being joined to the evil deeds of the world. In such circumstances, being lumped together with bad tax collectors and receiving abuse, how could I feel good about it? But there was nothing else I could do except endure people’s criticism and continue my work patiently.
Of course, all these problems could have been easily solved by simply quitting my job as a tax collector. But changing jobs was not as easy as it sounded. Even though Galilee is a good place to live, no job is easy. Farmers have to work day and night, sweating to grow crops well; fishermen put all their effort into catching fish; merchants transport olive oil and grain produced in Capernaum or Chorazin to Judea, Samaria, and various cities abroad. These jobs are not bad, but for someone like me, whose constitution is suited to sitting at a desk and writing, being a tax collector was the perfect fit. And if there was at least one person like me, wouldn’t people suffer a little less?
If working for the government is always wrong, then does that mean Joseph, who served as a high official in Egypt, Daniel, who served in Babylon, or Nehemiah, who was a cupbearer in Persia, were also bad people? From the viewpoint of today’s Jews, they, too, should be considered bad. But think about the great things God did through them: Joseph laid the foundation for Israel to become a nation. Daniel, as a prophet, foretold God’s providence in judging the world. Nehemiah led the return from exile and rebuilt Jerusalem’s walls. God did great things through them, so they were right. Therefore, I thought at the time that people’s attitudes toward tax collectors, who also worked for the state, were not right either.
Looking back, I see now that those were just excuses I made because I was afraid to find a new path in a chaotic world. I was living wrongly, but I deceived myself into thinking I was living well by avoiding reality. If I had not met Jesus, I would still be living exactly as I did then—enduring, unable to do anything but suppress my anger at people’s reactions. But Jesus’ call changed me into a new person.
When I was sitting at the tax collector’s booth, Jesus said to me, “Follow me.” I was so grateful that such a famous person, whose name was on everyone’s lips, called me that I invited Him to my home and held a great banquet, sharing the table with other tax collectors who were my acquaintances and with the many people who followed Him. Seeing us together, the meddlesome Pharisees sneered again, and it was then that Jesus said these words:
“Those who are healthy have no need for a physician, but those who are sick do. But you go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,’ for I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
Through these words, I realized that I had been living as a sinner all along, and I understood that Jesus did not come to condemn sinners like the Pharisees or other Jews, but to be with them. Seeing, hearing, and feeling this, something inside me suddenly changed, and I left my job as a tax collector to follow Jesus.
From that day until now, every day has brought nothing but new experiences. The depth of His teachings was beyond what words like “excellent” could express, and when I saw Him casting out demons and healing people’s illnesses, I realized that Jesus was truly sent by God because He loved this world.
And what about what happened in Jerusalem during the feast? Jesus healed a man who had been ill for thirty-eight years at the Pool of Bethesda near the Sheep Gate in Jerusalem. Because it was the Sabbath, the Pharisees became furious. Jesus was persecuted for this, but instead of admitting any wrongdoing, He said, “My Father is still working, so I am working, too,” which only stoked their anger. That alone was remarkable, but Jesus went even further with His words:
“Truly, truly, I say to you: The Son can do nothing of His own accord, but only what He sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise. For the Father loves the Son and shows Him all that He Himself is doing. And greater works than these will He show Him, so that you may marvel. For as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, so also the Son gives life to whom He will. The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, that all may honor the Son, just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent Him.
Truly, truly, I say to you: Whoever hears my word and believes Him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. Truly, truly, I say to you: An hour is coming, and is now here, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live. For as the Father has life in Himself, so He has granted the Son also to have life in Himself. And He has given Him authority to execute judgment, because He is the Son of Man. Do not marvel at this, for an hour is coming when all who are in the tombs will hear His voice and come out, those who have done good to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil to the resurrection of judgment. I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of Him who sent me.
If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not true. There is another who bears witness about me, and I know that the testimony that He bears about me is true. You sent to John, and he has borne witness to the truth. Not that the testimony that I receive is from man, but I say these things so that you may be saved. He was a burning and shining lamp, and you were willing to rejoice for a while in his light.
But the testimony that I have is greater than that of John. For the works that the Father has given me to accomplish, the very works that I am doing, bear witness about me that the Father has sent me. And the Father who sent me has Himself borne witness about me. You have never heard His voice or seen His form, and you do not have His word abiding in you, for you do not believe the one whom He has sent. You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.
I do not receive glory from people. But I know that you do not have the love of God within you. I have come in my Father’s name, and you do not receive me. If another comes in his own name, you will receive him. How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? Do not think that I will accuse you to the Father. There is one who accuses you: Moses, on whom you have set your hope. If you believed Moses, you would believe me; for he wrote of me. But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe my words?”
Jesus, who called God His Father—from the Pharisees’ perspective, these words were nothing short of outrageous. Of course, not only the Pharisees but most of the disciples also did not understand what these words really meant. But in any case, it was satisfying to see Him rebuke the Pharisees, who were always busy condemning others.
After that, Jesus continued to go around to cities and villages, teaching in the synagogues, proclaiming the gospel, and healing every kind of disease and affliction. But seeing the people harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd, He took pity on them and sent out His twelve disciples, including me, two by two to various villages. Jesus told us to proclaim the kingdom of God and repentance. Before sending us out, He gave us authority over evil spirits and the power to heal diseases, and now, empowered by that authority, we are healing many people and preaching the gospel. And so now, I am traveling with another disciple.
After Jesus sent us out, I heard that He has been traveling around various villages with other disciples who are not among the Twelve. When I think about it, this means that the proclamation of the kingdom of God and the healing ministry are happening in seven places at once: six through the disciples, and the seventh where Jesus Himself is. Where is Jesus now? He told us not to go to the cities of the Gentiles or to the towns of the Samaritans, but only to the villages of the Jews. Does that mean Jesus Himself does not go to those places either?
Before sending us out, Jesus gathered the Twelve and said to us:
“Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give. Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts—no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep. Whatever town or village you enter, search there for some worthy person and stay at their house until you leave. As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.
Behold, I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. Be on your guard; you will be handed over to the local councils and be flogged in the synagogues. On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. Truly I tell you, you will not finish going through the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes. The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household! So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.
Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
Anyone who welcomes you welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. Whoever welcomes a prophet as a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward, and whoever welcomes a righteous person as a righteous person will receive a righteous person’s reward. And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.”
While working as a tax collector, I met many foreigners, and I know that among them there are people who are better than some Jews. That’s why I find it hard to understand Jesus’ instruction for us not to go to the cities of the Gentiles or to Samaria. However, I believe Jesus would not have said such things without a reason. Perhaps it means that for us twelve disciples, including myself, the mission is to preach the gospel to the Jews, and that for the Gentiles or the Samaritans, Jesus will send someone else. After all, Jesus has more than just one or two disciples, and as for Samaria, He has often been there before.
Honestly, I still do not fully understand the words that follow. The idea that because of Jesus, we disciples will be dragged before governors and kings and persecuted by people—and that a person’s enemies will be members of their own household—is truly frightening. But Jesus also told us not to fear those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. So, I believe in those words and will try to cast away my fear. I am so precious to God that even the hairs on my head are all numbered.
Anyway, we will soon arrive at the next city. What kind of people and what kind of events are waiting for us there?
Now Levi, who was called Matthew—which means “gift of God”—wondered this as he approached the next city. Whether the people would accept the gospel or not, he could not know. According to Jesus’ words, he might be hated by some while preaching, but this was still far better than the days when he was condemned by everyone. Since Jesus had said that those who endure will obtain salvation, Matthew was no longer afraid of sharing the gospel. Enduring people’s hatred was something he had already done countless times as a tax collector.
In his heart, a sense of expectation and excitement arose for those who might newly accept the gospel. It was only after following Jesus that he came to know a joy he could never have imagined before—the joy of sharing the good news.
The passages from Matthew 9:12-13, 10:5-42, John 5:17-47 quoted in this narrative are taken directly from the World English Bible (WEB) translation.
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