It was an exceptionally clear and transparent night. Even the sheep were sleeping quietly. On nights like these, long-forgotten memories often resurfaced. I was born the son of a poor farmer. My childhood memories are faint, but not all bad. There are many fragmentary yet heartwarming memories, like the warmth of my mother’s embrace when I ran to her crying after falling while playing with my brother.
But those memories ended quickly, and all my memories after the age of ten continued here in Bethlehem. The first person I met when I came to Bethlehem alone, leaving my family behind, was the old shepherd. I began learning how to tend sheep by following him around, and at first, it was so much fun being with the sheep that I didn’t really miss home. Then one day, I desperately clung to the old man, begging him to take me home because I missed my family so much. That’s when he said:
“You might be able to see them when the seventh year comes...”
A person who can only gain freedom after seven years. Yes, I had been sold into slavery at that young age. At first, I cried for days, heartbroken at the thought of being abandoned by my parents. The old man silently took me around with him, and one day he said something that, looking back, I think was the only comfort he could give:
“Sometimes sheep are taken by predators. Landslides happen, storms blow, sheep fall into pits and are in danger. These things happen even to God’s sheep prepared for holy sacrifice. At those times, you have to save the sheep somehow. But if the sheep die in the meantime, there’s nothing you can do. Whatever happened, whoever’s fault it is, you can’t change it, so you just have to accept it. Don’t you have to at least save the remaining sheep?”
The old man wanted to let me know, even in that way, that the way to escape pain is not to be tied to the past, but to grasp hope for the future. The old man who told me those words had also been sold into slavery as a child, just like me. He married a wife provided by the master before seven years had passed, and they had one son together. A Jewish slave could become free without any ransom after seven years, but if they married while a slave, the wife and children belonged to the master and had to be left behind. The old man, who loved his family, couldn’t bear to do that, so he vowed to be the master’s slave forever and had his ear pierced against the doorpost as proof. That family he had exchanged for his entire life-but not long after, a plague came, and the old man lost both his wife and son and became alone again.
After that, there were a few talks about marriage, but the old man never married again. Many years later, when the master died and his son inherited everything, I was sold into slavery. At first, the taciturn old man seemed scary, but as I began to sense the sincerity that seeped through his every little action, I gradually opened my heart. The old man was gruff on the outside but truly warm-hearted. I came to realize that the old man’s personality wasn’t just his problem but something like an occupational hazard that comes with being a shepherd. How much experience could shepherds who live alone in the wilderness have in dealing with people? Everyone is bad at things they haven’t done much.
The shepherds of Bethlehem had a somewhat special sense of mission because most of Bethlehem’s sheep were offered as sacrifices in the Jerusalem temple, and the old man was extraordinary even among them. Unlike others who worked for wages, the old man gave his best as if it were his own mission, even though he was a slave. He always led the sheep to where the best grass grew and never took his eyes off them lest they fall into danger. Sometimes he would fight off predators with just a sling, and if the old man had one dream, it was that the sheep he had raised with all his heart would become the offering that pleased God the most.
Usually, the old man spoke and acted as if being a slave wasn’t a problem at all, but when it came to his own marriage, he strongly opposed it. He said I could become a free person if I endured just a few more years, and whenever the master sent people to talk about marriage, he would send me far away with the flock. The old man was persecuted for this, but he never gave in. Even to the master, the old man was an important person who raised the best sheep, so each time the marriage talk would pass safely.
That’s how it was in the sixth year when I met my current wife. The former master sided with Antigonus during his rebellion, and when Antigonus fell, the former master fell with him. As a result, the old man and I were transferred to a new master along with the flock. The new master’s daughter is my wife. She came to see the flock with the master, and though she was three years younger than me, she treated me like a younger brother from the moment she saw me. Maybe I looked easy to push around because I was small for my age.
Anyway, while the old man and the master were talking, my wife kept following me around and bombarding me with questions. “What’s this? What’s that?” Each time, I did my best to answer, but my wife seemed unsatisfied and started acting out for no apparent reason. Having never experienced the whims of a young lady, I could only be flustered, and my wife, finally satisfied, slapped my back hard and burst out laughing. My wife had probably lived doing whatever she wanted since she was young. Even the master was clearly at his wit’s end.
After that, my wife would often appear in Bethlehem to torment me. She would follow the servants bringing food, or sometimes suddenly appear alone, and because of this wife, the master’s worries never ceased. Back then, I fell into the delusion that my wife liked me, but in fact, she had come to see the old man. They say the old man looked a lot like my wife’s grandfather who had died in the war, which is why the new master also thought very highly of the old man.
Then one day, my wife barged in as usual, watching my every move and looking for faults, before going down the mountain. But unexpected heavy rain poured down, and my wife had to come back, unable to descend the mountain until nightfall due to the unceasing rain. The old man happened to be elsewhere, so we had no choice but to spend the night together. At that time, we had no idea how much that night would change both our lives, for better or worse.
In fact, nothing much happened that night except sitting side by side by the campfire, looking at the stars, and talking about this and that. I did develop feelings for her when I saw her vulnerable side that had seemed so strong, but I couldn’t even imagine something like love that transcended social status. Because I was a slave, and my wife was the master’s daughter. However, the problem grew because of people who misunderstood as they pleased, and this led to the worst outcome.
The next morning, my wife went home early and told the truth as it was, but the master and his wife didn’t believe her. Servants rushed in from Jerusalem, making a fuss and demanding I be handed over, but the old man hid me and asked about the situation from the beginning. The old man defended me, saying I wasn’t that kind of person, but people shouted unreasonably to hand over the child. The old man said he absolutely couldn’t hand me over and that he would take all responsibility himself. So the old man took the beating I should have taken and shed the blood I should have shed. Because of that day, he fell ill and passed away a few days later.
They say my wife cried for days when she later heard the news that the old man had died. With the old man’s sudden death, the master quietly covered up the incident, and the persecution stopped. In fact, the master hadn’t wanted the old man to end up like that either, so in a way, it was an incident that hurt everyone.
Soon after, I was freed from my status as a slave and gained my freedom. At that time, I briefly stopped by my hometown of Emmaus, but I couldn’t hear any news of the family I had parted from seven years ago. When I asked people, they said all the residents of Emmaus at that time had been sold into slavery. Cassius, who had assassinated Caesar and come to Syria, had imposed huge taxes in the process of gathering soldiers, and that’s what he did to several cities that couldn’t raise the money. They say the cities that ended up in the same situation as Emmaus at that time were Gophna, Lydda, and Thamna.
The following year, Cassius fell from power, and when Antony took control, he permitted the Jews who had been sold into slavery to return to their hometowns. However, like me-who was completely unaware of this because my master was a follower of Antigonus-not all the residents were able to return, and the same was true for my family. No one knows what happened to those who were sold into slavery, or whether they were caught up in Antigonus’s rebellion two years later and met with some misfortune.
Until then, the source that allowed me to endure no matter how hard things got was my resentment towards my parents. I had asked over and over since I was young how parents could sell their child into slavery, but no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t find an answer. I hated these absurd parents and was determined to make them pay someday, but when I learned the truth, I felt empty.
This wasn’t my parents’ fault. It wasn’t because of debt like with other slaves. They were poor people victimized by the power of authority. How heartbreakingly painful it must have been for my powerless parents to have to part with their children. Thinking of such parents made me very sad, and my heart grew emptier and emptier. After agonizing for days, I eventually returned to Bethlehem and started working as a hired shepherd.
My wife came to Bethlehem after I returned and apologized. Only when I heard my wife’s words saying she was sorry for causing the old man’s death did I realize anew what the old man had meant to me. The old man had been my only parent, my teacher, and my friend. It was because of the old man that I, full of wounds and twisted, was able to grow up safely. As they say, you only realize how precious something is after you lose it. The old man was truly my most precious existence that I hadn’t realized because he was always by my side.
My wife continued to come to Bethlehem occasionally after that, and one day she told me she liked me. At first, I told her not to say such nonsense, but seeing my wife’s consistent attitude, I too was able to realize the true feelings I had been hiding. The person I thought of whenever things were hard after the old man passed away was my wife.
When I told the master I would work for seven years without pay if he would give me his daughter, people all laughed incredulously, saying, “Do you think you’re Jacob?” All kinds of persuasion and threats followed, but in the end, we overcame all the battles and got married. That’s when I realized that true love can overcome any hardship in the world together.
We have two daughters. Our first daughter is twenty-three this year, married and living in Jerusalem. The first is a little lacking in looks compared to the second, but her faith is much stronger, so I’m not worried about her future at all. Our second daughter got married three years ago and lives in a nearby village. The second, who is prettier than the first, gave birth to a cute son who looks just like her, and he turned two this year. He’s truly a grandson I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.
Whenever I see my grandson, I wonder if this is how the old man felt when he looked at young me. A fragile life you want to protect even at the cost of any sacrifice. But the old man went beyond simple protection and gave important realizations through sacrifice. He made me realize that the most important thing for a person is true freedom. If it weren’t for the old man, even if I had become a free person, I would have thought and acted like a slave-a slave who is swayed by other people’s words and tries hard to please them. But through his final choice, the old man showed in person what true freedom is. Not a slave who blindly obeys the master’s orders, but a free person who can give even his life for what is right. To save me, the old man chose to give his own life.
“You are not a slave, but a free person.”
I think the old man’s last words summarize his entire life. And the old man too ended his life not as a slave, but as a free person.
* * *
An unseasonably warm wind blew. The sheep lying on the prairie opened their eyes and bleated. It was a pitch that only comes out when they’re in a good mood. The sheep stretched their legs and got up, moving about. What could be happening?
In the distance, the figure of a lion briefly appeared. I hurriedly grabbed my sling and stood up, but the lion didn’t even glance this way. Come to think of it, all the sheep were looking in one direction too. The peak of a mountain higher than its surroundings. There was nothing there. The howl of a wolf could be heard too. As if in response, howling echoed from here and there on the hill. Looking around, several packs of wolves revealed themselves. My hand gripping the sling tightened. It was the first time in my life encountering a wolf pack of this size. But the lion and wolves still showed no signs of aggression. Even the sheep, who would normally be panicking, were strangely unresponsive. On another side, deer, roe deer, mountain goats, and wild cattle appeared in herds. What on earth was going on?
Just then, a bright light burst forth from the mountain top. A glorious light illuminated all around. As I lowered my hand that had been shielding my eyes, the surroundings were as bright as midday. In the distance, I could see other shepherds and their flocks. They too seemed surprised, looking up at the mountain. Turning my head to look at the light, someone seemed to be standing in it. Who could it be? No, was it even human?
As curiosity welled up, I heard him shout:
“Do not be afraid. For behold, I bring you good news of great joy, which will be to all people. For today in the city of David a Savior was born to you, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
As soon as his words ended, the whole sky brightened. Looking up, countless heavenly hosts dressed in pure white linen filled my vision. They shouted loudly:
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men.”
Praises to the Lord filled the whole earth. The animals gathered around also seemed to join in the praise, singing together. A sight never imagined even in dreams. Even if this scene were painted and shown, who could believe it? Even I who witnessed it directly can hardly believe it. Oh, God of Israel.
After praying for a long time, when I opened my eyes, the bright light and praising voices had completely disappeared, leaving only a clear sky in their place. I wondered if I might have seen a vision, but the animals surrounding me and the shepherds in the distance proved that it wasn’t a vision. As I trembled, not knowing what to do, the animals moved first. The sheep fell back asleep, and the predators turned and disappeared. Other animals like deer and roe deer also went their own ways. Only shepherds like myself remained motionless. They gathered as if by appointment.
“Did you see it?”
“We did, right?”
“It wasn’t just me, was it?”
“This is unbelievable...”
“Let’s not do this, let’s go up to Bethlehem and check.”
“Yes. Let’s hurry up and meet our king.”
The shepherds’ footsteps quickened. My head was in a daze. Why on earth did this happen to us? Why did God show us this? Only unanswerable questions swirled in my mind. But wait... a manger? What does this mean? A place with a manger is one of the caves we use. Not a clean and pure room, but the Messiah is in a manger. This is all wrong, very wrong.
After looking around a few caves, it wasn’t long before the shepherds discovered a young couple and a newborn baby wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger in a small cave on the outskirts of the village. It was exactly as the angel had said. The couple looked surprised at the shepherds’ appearance, but when the shepherds told them what had happened, their faces broke into broad smiles. A moment later, a boy came in carrying food, looking even more surprised than the young couple. They all sat together, telling what had happened to them, giving glory to God, and praising with joy.
Day broke. In the meantime, most of the shepherds had returned to where their flocks were. The remaining shepherd and the boy told the people of Bethlehem that the baby born was the Messiah, but people wouldn’t believe. The baby the shepherds pointed to as the Messiah was clearly a child of poor and humble people. They had never expected such a Messiah.
Judging by people’s reactions, they seemed to have no intention of helping this young couple. Only the boy I met last night speaks the truth with me, but no one believes us. A man freed from slavery, a boy from a foreign country, and a poor couple. Who would believe our words? Even the boy’s father frowned and got angry, so even the boy’s mouth closed. We can’t keep believing in them. We can’t let the Messiah who came as king stay in a cave forever. Even if it’s a bit uncomfortable, I should bring them to my house. My wife will surely take good care of them.
The shepherd led Joseph, Mary, and the newborn Messiah to his house a little away from the village. Like leading sheep to the best pasture, the shepherd decided to give his best. The shepherd who looked around again and again to make sure they didn’t fall into danger on the way was truly a good shepherd resembling the Lord.
“Yahweh is my shepherd: I shall lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup runs over. Surely goodness and loving kindness shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in Yahweh’s house forever.”
The passage from Luke 2:10-12, 14, Psalm 23 quoted in this narrative is taken directly from the World English Bible (WEB) translation.
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